Hush
by hero
Summary: This is the second story I wrote at 3 in the morning out my own random boredom. This has a lot more to do with "Lullaby" but not much more. It's basically Snape remembering stuff. It's kinda sad. *tear*.


Disclaimer: None of these people are mine

Disclaimer: Professor Severus Snape is not a figment of my imagination *tear* He belongs to J. K. Rowling. So don't sue the poor little child who wrote this. Likewise I do not own the song "Hush" which is used here (marked with a *). It is a very pretty song which belongs to the extremely talented Angie Aparo. ^_^ But Sineád McLachlan (I still don't know what the hell her last name is) she is mine. She is the little fairy that lives inside my head. Not really. Maybe the little devil that sits on my shoulder. I dunno. But she's still mine. 

Rating: This is rated PG for the reason that it can be and I say it is.

Author's Note: I was bored at 3 in the morning. I was listening to pretty songs. I just randomly came up with this because it does have some relevance to the story. Just so ya know 95% of the stuff in this will **_not_** appear or have any connection/ relation to "Lullaby". I think this is sad. You might not. You may hate it. I don't care. More power to you. 

*She's got it all* 

It had been so long since Severus had seen Sineád. Years. The year he had known her was the best of his long miserable life. She was so beautiful and intelligent and wild and magnificent. Severus had often felt he didn't deserve her. How could he possible deserve someone like that? I his eyes he was hideous and horrid and nothing close to her. She was angelic. Well skin deep anyway. 

*The boys they would crawl* In that year with her he had seen that he was not the only one who picked up on her beauty. He had seen many charming and beautiful men try their hand at seducing her. But every time she turned them down. Every time, Severus remembered, she would look at him with such a dreamy look and tell him she had her eye on another. Another that so far seemed unreachable. But she never got him. She never told him who this dream man was. But she never got him.  *Away from her door then they come back again* 

Suitors were persistent in that year he knew her. They would try and try, but she would always turn them away. It seemed that nothing they had could satisfy them. Which mean that nothing Severus had would ever come close to satisfying her.

*But don't let them in* 

The year was a long one. But he had soon found that he had to return home, to England. To his black-hearted father and his bunch. 

*Smoking their gin* 

Sineád had told him several times, and made it quite clear that she did not approve of the Death Eaters or their work. She had always told him that he was different and he did not belong with them. She had often asked him to leave him father and the Death Eaters and live with her. As much as he loved Ireland and Sineád he could not leave his home. She had even offered to leave her beloved home to live in England with him. As long as he left the Death Eaters. 

*Leaving their best foot out in the cold* Severus never knew why he never took her up on that offer. He had left her at the end of that year. She still had another year of school to do and was not permitted to leave. Leaving her was on of the hardest things in the world to do. He loved her more than he was sure she loved him. He knew that the seeing her at the docks with tear filled eyes was the last time he would ever see her again. *I'm a waste of a momma's boy* 

That year he had returned to find that his mother had taken ill. His father poured over her bed every morning when Severus awoke, and every night when he went to sleep. His father loved his mother. Her loved her a lot more than he loved him. But Severus had loved his mother. She had shown him kindness when his father had not.

*It's a shame they say * 

But every day he thought of Sineád. He wrote her letters, but never sent one of them. He did not know how she would react. Was she still willing to move to England for him? She loved Ireland more than anything in the world. He constantly wondered if it was right to deny her something of that much importance for his own selfishness. 

*There's so much you know he'll never enjoy* 

He wrote letter after letter. Spending hours carefully thinking up every word. He wanted her to come to and live with him, but he didn't want her to be unhappy. And he didn't want to leave his dying mother. But after spending days and days on a letter he would only cry out in frustration, ball it up, and throw it into the fire.**__**

*All the love you come to destroy* 

As his mother became increasingly ill, Severus could not help but notice how much colder his father became to him. It was as if the old man thought he was to blame. He snapped at Severus every chance he got. By the end of the year things were so bad between them that they could not be in the same room at the same time, and Severus was banned from seeing his mother.

*There's a moment lost in time * 

This was the last straw for Severus. He left the manor that night and headed to the train station. He was never going to be allowed to see his mother anyway and he could not bare being with his father. He thought of returning to Ireland and seeking Sineád, but he realized that after this year she most likely would have forgotten him. After all, she was perfect. She would have found someone by now. Maybe that thickheaded idiot who had not reciprocated her affections would have wised up. He would to find her engaged to be married and then where would that leave him? Even worse he could return to find her missing or dead. She did hang out with a rather shady crowd. If she was ever caught in the wrong place at the wrong time with her group… He didn't even want to think about it. 

*When she says hush* 

He had to think of somewhere to go. Something to keep his mind off Sineád. Off his mother. Off the fact that she would die and he would never know. He tried to keep that thought from his mind as he thought of what kind of a place would take him. Dumbledore's image floated through his mind. Dumbledore would take him. He was a kind, trusting man. He approached the ticket counter to purchase a ticket to Hogsmeade when he saw her.

*I'm on your side* 

She stepped off a train wearing the same long black hooded cape lined in emerald green that she had the last time he saw her. He immediately abandoned the line and throwing caution to the wind rushed toward her. She must have seen him rushing through the crowds because she dropped the small bag she had been carrying. Severus wrapped his arms around her, repeating her name softly. She looked up at him tears in her eyes. He had never seen this look on her face before. It was almost utter terror of something. But it was deep. Hidden. But he saw it was there. He began to speak but she placed a finger to his lips to silence him, but soon took it away to replace it with her lips.

*It's just the two of us* 

She had come to him. She had left her home and traveled with nothing more on her person than the bag she carried. She had risked everything for him when he had been too cowardly to do so for her. She had always been the braver one.**__**

*You know that I* He pulled out of the kiss.

"Sineád. I-I-" He could not speak. She just looked up at him and smiled.

"I know, Sev. I know. I love you too." He press her head to his chest and let his tears fall into her dark hair.

"I'm sorry, Sineád. I'm so sorry. Oh, God! How could I have left you?"

"I don't care Sev, as long as you never leave again. Wherever you're going I want to go too." She said beneath her sobs.

"I'll never leave you. I promise." He whispered. "I promise."

*You know I'll never say goodbye* 

The two purchased tickets to Hogsmeade. The spent the entire train ride in each others arms speaking of the things that had happened in their year apart. She understood why he had not left England. Why he had not sent her an owl. And why he had left. 

*She smiles for me* 

Dumbledore hired Snape as a teacher and Sineád remained in Hogsmeade as a waitress at the local pup. She endured catcalls from the more inept customers, and the long hours. She did it all for him. It had always been for him. Always. And every night she would come up to the castle to his room. Always happy at the end of the day when she saw him. Always smiling. 

*It don't mean a thing* 

The year passed on like that. Winter seemed to come in soon and hard on everyone. The trees were bare and horribly depressing, as if they sensed something coming. This would be the worst winter of Severus's life.

*It don't take away the way it was before* 

The last day of school before the Christmas holiday was cut short due to talk of an incoming blizzard. All the students who were leaving for the holiday would have to leave early to avoid getting stuck on the way back. Severus took this opportunity to surprise his love. He took out his wand and produced a bouquet of her favorite flower. Black roses. He immediately headed down to the pup to surprise her. 

*I'm foolish and grown * 

"How can you do this all day with a smile on your face, Sineád?" Another waitress asked her. She just shook her head.

"That is none of your business, Bella."

"You've got a man don't you?" She asked nudging Sineád with her elbow.

"Maybe." She smiled.

"I bet I know who." She sang.

"No you don't, you've never met him."She lied.

"Oh but I have. It's that young Irish chap, Bram, isn't it?"

Sineád smiled.

*I should have known * 

Severus has come in and was standing so as not to be detected by either of the talking girls. He was curious about wear this conversation was headed.

"It is isn't it?" The girl taunted.

"Will it make you shut up if I say yes?" she asked.

"I knew it! I knew it! You blush every time you see him! And he keeps slipping you all those notes in with your unbelievably large tips."

Severus's heart sank in his chest. He knew this was inevitable. There were too many people who were after Sineád, there was bound to be one that stole her from him. He did not bother confronting her about it. He knew that she would just feel sorry for him and ask if they could still be friends. At least now he knew why she came to him every night with a smile on her face. 

*Hers was a world made for just one throne* 

That day when he came home he found that he had received an owl from one of his father. His mother had died. He had put her out of her misery and he was asking that Severus come home. But this was not a letter of forgiveness. Letters like that didn't begin with the phrase

By the time you read this I will already be gone… 

This was a suicide letter. He could barely read the last lines of the parchment.

_If you do not come home I will know why. I am sorry, my son._

_With all my love,_

_Damien L. Snape_

*I'm a waste of a momma's boy* 

He spoke to Dumbledore in private and was permitted to leave to attend to his family affairs. He did not even leave a note for Sineád. When he returned to Hogwarts at the start of Spring term, Sineád had gone. He had not blamed her. She was most likely married with a baby on the way by now, he thought.

*It's a shame they say* 

He cried often. He cried for his love, for his father, for his mother. He cried for himself. He cried from loneliness. He cried from hatred. He cried from anger. He cried until all that was left of him was a bitter shell. He swore he'd never let anyone get close to him again. Ever.

*There's so much that he'll never enjoy* 

For 6 long years he tormented his students. No one had ever stopped to consider him. No one cared. This only spurred on his bitterness. 

*All the love you come to destroy* 

Tonight he had seen her again. Alone and bitter. Had Bram left her for someone else? If he had he was a fool. She was more beautiful than he had ever seen her. She seemed even more alive now. Life had hardened her into what she was. He had not wanted to retreat to his room. Or at least with out her, but what would he tell her after 6 years. Did she even feel a fraction of what he still felt for her? Now he lay awake in bed wondering

*How many days can you waste it boy* 

"I thought you said you'd never leave me again, Sev." A voice said from the other side of the room. Sineád stood leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

"I thought you said you loved me." He replied coldly. 

*It's a shame they say * 

"Of coarse I love you, Sev. I've loved you since the day I met you." She approached the bed looking more cold and bitter than he had ever seen her in his life. It hurt him to see her like this. He just wanted to jump up and wrap his arms around her again and make everything better.

*There's so much you know he'll never enjoy* 

A tear began to fall down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly. She looked as if she had not cried in the 6 years they had been apart. The longing burned inside of him even more. He hated this. He wanted to be able to make everything the way it had been.

"Why did you leave, Sev?" She asked. Her voice cracked

*All the love we come to destroy* 

"Who was Bram?" He asked glowering at her. He was not about to show her how much she had hurt him. She looked confused a bit.

"Bram?"

"Before I left I heard you talking to another waitress at the pup. You were talking about a guy named Bram. He used to slip you notes and extra money." She looked thoughtful.

"Oh." She said finally, "What about him?"

"She was asking you if you had a man."

"And I did. I had you, didn't I?"

"Yes, but she asked you if it was Bram and you told her that it was."

*There's a moment lost in time* She smiled as she began to remember.

"Oh… right. She was always asking me if I had was seeing someone and I always told her no, because she would make a very big deal about it, because that's the type of person she was. Then one day when you came in she told me about how you two had gone to school together and how much she hadn't liked you then. And I knew that if she found out there would be no end to—" She looked at him. She sat on the bed next to him. "To make her shut up I told her I was with Bram. And the only reason I ever welcomed any of his affections was due to the fact that he gave me a 200% tip." Severus laughed. It had been the first real laugh that had escaped his lips in 6 years.

"Sineád I'm sorry. I thought—" But he was cut short by her placing her finger to his lips to silence him.

"Hush. We'll get to that later."

*When she says hush* 

She lay down next to him and placed her head on his chest.

"I haven't heard your heart beat in so long. I forgot how much it comforted me." She said softly.

*I'm on your side* 

Severus wrapped his arms around her. It had been 6 long hard years since he had held her in his arms. 6 years since he could smell the sweet smell of her hair. 6 long years since he had kissed her as passionately as he did now.

**_*It's just the two of us*_**

After several hours of much needed emotional release Sineád looked up at him as she played with a strand of his long black hair.

"Sev. I want you to promise me something." She said.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Promise me that next time you leave you at least say goodbye." She said.

**_*You know that I*_**

"Sineád. I promise I'll never have to." He held her to him and kissed her forehead as she began to fall asleep.

**_*You know I'll never say goodbye*_**

(Another Author's note): I honestly don't care if you wanna flame this. I really don't. It's your life, but at least have the decency to sign in or something. I won't scream at you. Maybe I'll growl at you a bit, but then I'll leave you alone and go about my own business. Unless I feel like leaving you a nice little review (and it will be nice I promise, I'm a good little puppy). Nevertheless. I'm gone.

Peace.


End file.
